Ask Alejandro!

By Chief Justice Alejandro

[Q]:  Can i have a tablet?

[A]:  Nope.

[Q]:  Why do people keep asking you questions about a girl?

[A]:  Well I didn't know everyone on fringe was boning "a girl".

[Q]: When you gunna make keith buy me a computer :I

[A]:  When you going to get a job so you can buy yourself a computer?

[Q]: How can we ask you questions if you are dead?

[A]:  Ouija board's and a few sacrificed children help.

[Q]: How the crap did you leave so many clues before you diesd in you murder Alejandro? And why?

[A]:  A dead zebra never tells.

[Q]: Recently i lost my virginity with some random girl, i regret it.. how can i get my virginity back?

[A]:  Do you even know what virginity means? Used as a noun it means: A person who has never had sex Wha- Wait? You said you HAD sex with a random girl? Sounds like a rather large case of being shit out'ah luck.

[Q]: Who are u?

[A]:  You posted your question in the section, "Ask Alejandro"... Thanks for the question.

[Q]: Okay, so there's these 2 chicks I like(and they like me), one has an.... OKAY body but is real sweet, the other has an amazing body but acts really... weird, she's like high all the time.. Free weed too I guess? She's not sweet though but she has BIG BEWBz, which girl should I date..

[A]:  If your asking me, a dead zebra, about girls online. Then go with the real sweet one, she'll stay with you as long as you make her think she's not good enough for anyone else.

[Q]: Ok, so i really love this girl, but we are going to different high schools, and I cant drive. To make matters worse, we live like 15-20 mins away from each other. :( I want to date her... A LOT! But I dont want to hold her back from boys in her new school. :( What should I do?

[A]:  If you want to date her, then you want to hold her back from boys in her new school dumbass. Walk, or I'll come hit that.

[Q]: Hey Al, My cat died, what should I do with the remaining cat food?

[A]:  African kids love that shit.